I’ll never be happy again: the lie I believed for years

Over 27 years ago, I woke up in the intensive care unit unable to move 90% of my body and with a tube inserted into the middle of my neck, pushing air into my lungs.

Are you struggling with social distancing? Did you recently lose your job because of our current circumstances in the world? Are you finding that your days are filled with worry, sadness, loneliness and anxiety?

If so, I want to challenge you to adopt a new perspective. Don’t just TRY to adopt a new perspective. Adopt a new perspective and start living it today.

Focus on all the things you can still do. Focus on the things you can do differently by adapting how you do them. Focus on what you can learn to do.

It makes a difference if you TRULY change your perspective and start living it today. Don’t wait for your perspective to change and then start living it. There is no perspective for godmother out there just waiting to grant you a new perspective. You have to start doing the do!

I focused on what I couldn’t do as a quadriplegic for several years and I was MISERABLE. As soon as I began focusing on what I could do and could learn… happiness game changer.

The tube in my neck might be gone today, but I still cannot move 90% of my body. Guess what…I’m 10 times happier than I ever was when I could move my entire body.

How do you adopt a new perspective you ask? I wish I could tell you it is easy, but it’s not. It takes determination, persistence, grit, good community and can overwhelming determination to not give in to feelings of hopelessness when they stir up.

12 Practices that took me from a Miserable Paralyzed Life to a Beautiful Paralyzed Life

1. DECIDE you are going to adopt a new perspective and COMMIT to it.
2. Stop with the negative self-talk. That’s YOU telling yourself what you can’t do and how miserable life is right now.
3. Forgive yourself when the negative self-talk does set in and redirect your thoughts.
4. Have grit. Do what you know you HAVE to do in order to get where you want to be.
5. Understand that money does not lead to happiness. Many of my happiest years were lived in a low-income apartment, depending on public transportation and having zero money to spend on anything besides bills.
6. Be patient. Pursuing happiness doesn’t have 2-day shipping. Sometimes it takes years. The sooner you start to truly adapt your mindset and actions, the better.
7. Know that everything doesn’t have to be perfect right now in order to be happy.
8. Realize that life is never always perfect. It’s a journey of incredible times, good times, average times, sad times, angry times, chaotic times. Enjoy the positive times and allow yourself to grieve during the negative times, but don’t get stuck there.
9. Focus on short-term goals and long-term goals. My short-term goal for this week is to clean out all the junk drawers in my house. My long-term goal is to have my house COMPLETELY clutter free and organized.
10. Exercise in some way. There’s no denying the science behind physical exercise and its relation to increased well-being. (Don’t like this recommendation? Rreread #4 in this list). No excuses…even I can exercise.
11. Start investing some time to learn about personal development for yourself. If you are reading this blog, you have personal development resources at your fingertips through simple internet searches. Start researching different ways to work toward your personal development goals.
12. Surround yourself with a community of people who will encourage you to be your best self. Your “best self” community is out there…text them, email them, message them, call them and then go spend some time with them when the social distancing mandates are over. Don’t have current friends like that? Reach out to those people you see living purposefully happy and connect with them.

Go look in the mirror. Do you see that person looking back at you? He or she is the only person stopping you from becoming your best self no matter your circumstances.

What can you do today to take a step toward changing your mindset and your life?

I’m going to open my book on overcoming anxiety and remind myself how to do that. Then, I’ll probably eat some chocolate chip cookies and watch my favorite TV shows.